“….”How odd that he showed up so suspiciously out of nowhere.“So—what are you going to do about it?”“…It’s strange that he says he likes me, but it doesn’t feel bad. He’s kind and good—to me. As for being lovers… I can’t quite imagine it, but it wouldn’t be bad. In fact…”Jaeui’s eyes softened, as if memories of unspoken trust and goodwill surfaced.Sensing he’d found an answer there, Taeui scratched his head and lightly patted Jaeui’s shoulder.“Don’t overthink it. If you like him, that’s fine; if not, that’s fine too. Whatever happens, you’ve always got me on your side.”Jaeui looked up and seemed to smile faintly. Seeing that half-nod and teasing glance, Taeui silently prayed that a special star of fortune would truly watch over his brother this time, guiding everything as it had before.…But still.One does what one can.“By the way, hyung, that—relationship… the receiving end hurts like hell.”Even put vaguely, his clear-headed brother would understand. Jaeui, surprisingly sensitive to physical pain despite his calm resilience, must hate it more than Taeui ever would.Sure enough, a new flicker of concern passed over Jaeui’s face.“It hurts?”“Of course. It’s not used the way it’s meant to be, the direction’s reversed, and it’s not the usual thickness you see in the toilet every day.”Though the conversation felt uncomfortably dirty, Taeui pressed on. Only afterward did he realize he had no way to know about “thickness,” but… whatever—his brother didn’t know either.“Oh—thickness… right, Raman is, well… that was a bit overwhelming. And since an adult man’s size increases when he’s aroused…”Wait—how would hyung know that?!Taeui’s head snapped up in shock, but Jaeui, muttering to himself as if recalling some old memory, simply frowned in embarrassment. Before Taeui could ask, his brother furrowed his brow and turned to him.“Taeui, are you okay?”“Huh?”“When you and Rick… it didn’t look healed.”Jaeui’s worried tone hit Taeui like a blow.How did he know about that size…?Though fully sober, Taeui felt dizzy and pressed his temple.“Wh—where did you see it…?”“At the hospital in Frankfurt. When you were admitted.”“Oh—hospital…”Taeui’s heart pounded as he recalled that nightmarish hospital stay. Of course, you see everything in a hospital, especially someone shameless like that. In the war-like influx of patients, who would blink if he changed clothes in the corridor?Realizing where Jaeui must have glimpsed Raman’s shameful secret, Taeui’s energy drained. He tossed the half-empty beer can into the trash.He caught Jaeui’s quiet gaze and sighed.“I’m fine… really. I’m fine with him. Honest.”Seeing the faint worry lift from Jaeui’s eyes, Taeui smiled softly. Who would believe he and Ilrey Regrow got along fine? But it was true—at least to Taeui. Despite countless past problems and living atop unpredictable chaos, in this moment there was no trouble.Isn’t that enough?Taeui shrugged, and Jaeui, who had been watching quietly, finally cracked the hint of a smile. Nodding, he seemed reconciled, and Taeui felt relieved.No. But. This wasn’t the right moment for closure.“Ah, but apart from that, it hurt like hell at first. I thought I’d die. It stayed that way for a while. So, hyung, think carefully. The one receiving… it really, truly hurts.”Taeui never thought he’d have to say this to his brother, but life’s full of surprises. He watched the shadow of concern slowly settle on Jaeui’s face and secretly cheered. At least hyung wouldn’t be flattened—so his body would suffer less. Though °• N 𝑜 v 𝑒 l i g h t •° he hated imagining Jaeui riding that guy…Understanding immediately, Jaeui nodded solemnly and let the topic drop.As calm returned, Taeui craved another beer—he really did—and fetched one from the fridge. Jaeui accepted one too, and the brothers clinked cans and drank in silence.Their thoughts may have run parallel or diverged, but neither voiced them. They only exchanged casual remarks: “Insect sounds are the same everywhere,” “But the bugs look different sometimes,” and so on.Before long, Jaeui departed. Whether he’d come to confide that little worry or because his feelings had shifted, Taeui couldn’t be sure. As usual, Jaeui offered no tidy answers, and Taeui asked no further. They said a tentative goodbye, awaiting some indeterminate next meeting.And, unsurprisingly, Ilrey returned that very afternoon. When told Jaeui had left, Ilrey clicked his tongue but said nothing—he must have made the same realization: Jaeui, born under a lucky star.“Ahahaha…”Instant relief washed over Taeui, and he laughed, telling himself he need never worry about his brother. Ilrey watched him curiously as he laughed, and Taeui tapped his shoulder, saying it was nothing. A flake of dried blood fell from Ilrey’s dark clothes, and both laughter and movement froze.Ah, not my blood, Ilrey murmured as Taeui gently ushered him to the bathroom. In that moment, all worry for Jaeui vanished from Taeui’s mind, leaving only the familiar ache of mourning someone unknown.And for the next two months, he completely forgot about that matter.He couldn’t dwell on it anyway. Christoph—far less fortunate than Jaeui—had happened to return to Boston after landing at Tegel the very night Ilrey came back, crashing at Kyle’s house before heading to Dresden. With that distraction, all thoughts of Jaeui evaporated.Then, when Ilrey—who roamed the house quietly like cut-off water—suddenly left on business a few days ago, Taeui regained a dull peace. And now, lying at the terrace door, sipping beer in the insect-filled night garden breeze, he was content.“I saw mosquitoes earlier. If you lie there with the screen open, you’ll get eaten alive.”A voice, then footsteps. Kyle, hair still damp as if fresh from a shower, approached.“When did you get here? That was fast.”“Fast? It’s past eight.”Kyle murmured sadly and collapsed into the armchair by the door. Taeui sat up, amused.“James was determined to keep you here until midnight, so I expected you later.”“Today’s Friday… he let it slide. What if next week he really books me till midnight?”“…Fire James.”When Taeui suggested it, Kyle wrapped his arms around his head in mock despair, then leapt up shouting, “No, don’t!!!” At Taeui’s grinning face, he clicked his tongue.“But James is so competent—I’ve pulled him into the company. He lets me slack off.”“Of course. I worked so hard to recruit him.”Kyle buried his face in his arms, muttering as though sinking underground, and Taeui laughed again, handing him a fresh can.“Every time I see James, I think he’s the perfect example of diligence in adversity.”“Hm… painful to hear, but true. He’s capable and earnest. But do you know the ideal boss? Someone capable and lazy!”Kyle added a feeble self-defense, then—culpably—turned to check there was no one behind him. Once, he’d joked that only James could appear behind him with that eerie smile, giving him trauma.“Nowadays, whenever I see James, I feel lazy in comparison. Makes me want to do something.”Taeui muttered and took a sip. Though he often helped Peter, he wasn’t the type to worry about idle time. But recently, he’d considered it too.“Work? If it’s something you want, why not? But what kind? Anything in mind?”“Not really specific…”“Hm? How about helping me with my work?”Kyle beamed at his own idea—lightening Taeui’s workload and diffusing James’s demands—yet Taeui simply stared. Noticing the look, Kyle frowned and muttered, “Not keen, huh?” Taeui quickly waved his hand, laughing.“No—it’s just—I heard the same from Ilrey.”Kyle looked overtly displeased, but Taeui smiled.Only a few days ago—on the eve of Ilrey’s departure—Taeui watched him take a call and thought to himself, “I should do some work too.” Ilrey, ghostlike, must have understood; he even spoke in Korean, surprising Taeui. After hanging up, Ilrey said:“Work? What kind?”“Well, I hadn’t thought it through, but if I were to, I’d find something I could do.”“Hm… you must be bored at home. So—help me with my job?”

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