"Your father said if you look at women, you will turn into stone. Which is a lie, straight up. It's like saying a writer gets laid just because he writes good."

"How?" Johnson asked, frowning like a bull who saw his cow-wife giving milk to another man.

I knitted my brows. "Are you asking how do I know that writers don't get laid?"

"No. I know the sex life of writers. I am asking, how are you sure that my father was lying?"

"Oh. Yeah, that. You said when you saw those naked women you felt something hard. Do you not understand what it was?"

"I understand. I was turning into stone."

"No! You got a boner. Simple as that."

"Lies!" Johnson retorted faster than a lawyer defending a cheating woman.

"What do you mean lies? It is natural, dumbass."

"No. My father said boner is a myth!"

"Dude, your father should be arrested for upbringing you like that. He stole your biology sessions. Heck, he stole your whole youth!"

"Don't say anything without any proof."

"Fine, you want proof? Alright."

I turned to Jack.

"Jack, your system still works, right? And by system, I don't mean what I have."

Jack squinted his eyes as if looking for nipples in a see through top, thinking for a while until he answered:

"If I understood correctly then yes, my system works fine."

"Then show this guard what I am talking about."

Jack nodded and removed his belt but then, he stopped.

"I can't show him, pal."

This bish…

"Wha—Why?"

"I haven't shaved for a hundred years!"

"You sexual offender. You showed me the same thing like that without any questions and against my will and now you are refusing to show it even when I am asking it myself!? That's not even double standards. That's quadruple standards!"

I yelled and when I recalled his words, I erupted again.

"And what do you mean you haven't shaved for a hundred years? You are a ghost! You can't shave a damn thing. The trimmer would pass through you if you tried to do it. And you dropped your pants so many times earlier around me and around the guards to get their attention without any worry about the hair. Why are you shying away now?"

"Fine." Jack sighed. "Even if I drop my pants, pal. This guard won't understand your point."

"Why so?"

"You want him to know about what being hard means, right? You want to prove to him that a boner isn't a myth, right?"

"Yes."

"So to show him that, I have to get hard first."

"You are not?"

"Of course I am not. I may be a pervert but I don't float around with a hard on every time."

"Then what kind of pervert are you? You can't even do a role of a pervert perfectly. That's not what having four dimensional side characters mean!"

"Oh yeah? Then you show him if you are that perfect of a pervert."

"That is out of the question. I asked you because you were trying to do things with me which means you have some potential to get hard here. While I am a straight man. No matter how hard I try, it won't bulge. I haven't seen any women in this world as well who can excite me just by imagining them. I only met a decent girl but she is the sister of my friend."

"Then imagine that decent girl, pal."

"Did you not hear me? She is the sister of my friend."

"...So?"

"What do you mean so? My friend's sister means my sister. And she calls me brother too. I can't do that. I am a sophisticated pervert and besides, this is not that kind of story."

Jack knitted his brows. "I am still not understanding the problem. A girl is a girl. Sister is just a word."

"You rotten bastard. I am not that kind of a man. And she is just fourteen."

"Age is just a number, pal."

"And jail is just a room."

"We are already in jail, pal. Might as well do one more crime while we are at it. No one can arrest us again. And also, age is just a scam created by clothes companies to sell more clothes."

"That doesn't even make sense!"

"You are the one who isn't making sense. Just because she calls you her brother, doesn't mean you are her brother and can't rub one out for her. Most boys first become brothers just to get closer to the girls and then Baam! One weak moment and the boy strikes hot."

"Dude, what kind of environment did you grow up in? That's not how it works. And no need to pitch the idea anymore. End that. If you keep talking, I am afraid I will agree to it and hate myself for my whole life after that!"

"Alright. Then how will you show Johnson what's real and what's myth?"

"You will do it. Remove your pants."

Jack let out a tired sigh. "You are dead set on me, huh. Alright. I can remove my pants but because of nervousness, I might go soft, softer than usual. You have to do something so that I can gain the confidence to drop my pants."

"Are you out of your mind? What do you want me to do?!"

"Lap dance, maybe?"

"You are a ghost! I will just pass through you. And even if you weren't a ghost, I wouldn't have lap danced anyway."

"Then talk dirty. Do something, pal. Johnson should know what he is missing. And if you failed to do so, he would keep you in his bedroom for all your life. Do you want that?"

"No. I don't want it. And I also don't want to be the reason to excite you. Someone once jerked off using me and I had him killed."

"I see. Then stay happy with Johnson."

"Anghh. Fine. Strip down." I said through gritted teeth.

"Make it hard first." Jack iterated.

"Strip down so this guard can see the changes, bitch. The before and after thing. He should see the change in real time."

"I see. So I have to show my size in soft mode first. Fine. You owe me one for this, pal."

I nodded and Jack did it.

He dropped his pants and was now naked in front of Johnson.

Johnson licked his lips and I made a mental note to bleach my eyes after seeing that.

Then Jack stared at me and I could already see him twitching and before I get the urge to kill myself, I began the dirty talk. Starting with…

"Poop."

…

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