Johnson said mother's milk is overrated.

I told him milk is not a pedo rapper. It can't be overrated. It's necessary for growth.

But he didn't believe it and kept saying fathers matters too like he was an architect who got a contract from the government to build churches.

The god's will bending part? His mother was a male.

I mean, I sympathise with his father about whatever happened to him. But that doesn't mean I would just accept a universal truth as a lie.

So I asked Johnson if mothers are not important then how did he grow up? What did he consume as food? How did his friends throw abuses on him? What did he eat because just after one second of his birth, his father had called an old man and changed the gender of Johnson's mother to a man.

And at that, Johnson, with pride of a chihuahua who pulled a 10/10 baddie golden retriever bitch, said:

"I drank my father's milk!"

"Motherfucker!"

I banged Jack's dead body's head on the wall this time.

And I just realised I can't even give a mother related abuse to Johnson because his mother is a father too!

"Why are you showing such a wild reaction, Human? It's normal."

"Dude, your normal is not normaling. I wish I could unhear that. You are the ideal child of my father."

Just when I was basking in the absurdity, Jack chimed in:

"Ask the important questions, pal."

I frowned. "What is the important question?"

Jack shook his head and looked at Johnson. It seemed he would ask the question himself.

"Where is your father now? Call him here right now. Forget the gender changing old man. I want your father here."

My eyes widened.

"This is no time to drink his father's milk, you fatherfucker! And you are a ghost. How will you even drink that? And how can one ghost be this horny?!"

"I am not horny, alright. I am just… this is for science."

"You just blurted out the first excuse that came to your mind."

"Exactly."

This bish..

"Don't drag science to this forsaken corner of porn hub, Jack."

"Fine. And you didn't answer my question, Johnson. Bring your father here to me. Your father is my father. We are pals from now on."

Johnson sighed. "My father is dead. Both of them."

"Fcuk you! Kill him, pal. He is our enemy."

Jack went through all sorts of mood swings there and I stared at him like a vegetarian fat woman staring at meat… of a vegetarian man.

"Don't stare at me, pal. I have no reason to talk with him now. You can do whatever you want. But if he captured you, make sure to call me. I wanna watch."

Hah!

There was no point in indulging with Jack. He constantly runs on golden showers instead of petrol. It was better to ignore him for now.

I focused on Johnson as I feel we are getting closer to the endgame.

"Alright. I understand. You were raised by two men. And your father must have told you to never indulge with a woman because of his bad experience with his wife. And you obliged to your father and from then on, you are only interested in men and that's why when you jumped into the lake outside this prison and found women, you called them terrifying. Is that it?"

Johnson thought for a while and then answered:

"Yesn't."

Motherfuc—

"That's not even a word! Don't pick up the habits of this ghost, Johnson. Well, you are already a lot like this ghost but at least leave his vocabulary alone."

"Fine. I meant to say, yes and no."

"So my theory is not right but also not wrong?"

"Yes."

"Then what is it? Why did you call those women terrifying and did you get water from the lake or not? And you still have to tell me how you ended up looking like that!"

And also, his father had a bad taste.

If he had to kidnap a woman then he could have chosen someone beautiful. I mean, Johnson had orange skin and muscles but no jawline or other attractive shit. If I covered him with two black blankets he would look like an orange flavored Oreo.

Nevertheless, I didn't say all that to Johnson as I wanted no detour from the water fetching story again.

So Johnson was left with only my questions and he answered everything at once like a predator finally getting caught by the cops.

"After I jumped into the lake, I saw naked women all around me. It was my first time seeing them. I have only heard about women. I had heard they come in all colors. The ones I saw in the lake were green and muscular. My father had told me that if I ever saw a woman, I would turn to stone and he was right because when I saw them, I felt something getting hard.

I was instantly terrified so I closed my eyes and stayed rooted on the spot. The women also saw me and they began laughing. They started calling me names like hey handsome, come here. Wanna have some fun? I knew this was a trap as their words were only making the hard feeling I was going through more evident. So I decided to ignore them and focus only on fetching the water.

I bent down, eyes still closed and brought the metal bucket inside the water of the lake. But I heard the footsteps of women coming closer to me so I hurried with the water. And in my hurry, I pushed the metal bucket too deep and from it… two penguins came out!

I didn't know what they were doing but when the women saw those creatures, they laughed and said to each other that those two penguins are a couple and they are having sex. They also said that the penguins stopped doing sixty-nine because I disturbed them with my metal bucket.

I was already terrified because of the ants, flies, guitar goblin and naked woman so when I heard that I interrupted the make-out session of penguins, I lost it and started bashing my metal bucket all around. I wanted no anger of the penguins after getting cockblocked by me.

But my eyes were still closed so I wasn't able to attack the penguins all that well. However, the penguins had their eyes open and they definitely could attack me full well. Which, they did.

The female penguin stayed in front of me and the male penguin came behind me. And then, I received the punishment of cockblocking the male penguin. And the punishment he chose for cockblocking was…"

Johnson shivered uncontrollably and with red eyes, he said:

"To unblock his cock by using it on the same person who blocked the cock in the first place!"

"..."

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