"Lydia."
A voice from behind me shattered my trance. I tore my gaze away from the darkness where Rune had vanished and turned to see who'd called my name.
Commander Quinn.
"Y-yes... I was just standing here in case they forgot something and came back," I said. It was half-truth, but enough to cover my embarrassing reason for lingering.
"Yeah..." Quinn's voice was gentle, a soft smile playing on her lips. "But it's been an hour since they left."
An hour? Had I really been standing here that long?
My heart ached. Doesn't that mean... they're not coming back anymore?
"I see..." There was nothing I could say to cover it anyway. "I'll come back in like half an hour."
I'd gotten used to standing here, for some reason.
Quinn laughed into her fist. "Actually, I'm here to tell you something important." Her tone shifted, taking on a slightly serious edge.
"...What is it?" I asked, my stomach tightening. I really hoped it wasn't bad news. Rune had left, and Commander Tugnier wasn't in any shape to perform at his best.
"It's a mission. One that Tugnier and I have for you."
Her laughing demeanor vanished completely, replaced by something grave and serious. A mission for me already? It must be important.
"I'm ready, Commander Quinn," I said, straightening my shoulders. There was no time to keep feeling sad. I'd made the right decision. They really did need me here.
"You see..." Quinn scratched her chin thoughtfully. "Now that we think about it, leaving the details of our next location to that human and letting him go unchecked was kind of.. reckless."
"Huh?" The sound escaped before I could stop it.
Were they doubting Rune? The one who saved us? That didn't sound like them at all.
"So we've decided it would be best for everyone if we had someone watching him for us." Quinn looked directly at me, her eyes glistening with moisture that reflected the night moon. "And the only one capable of that is you. Can you.. do that?"
She swallowed hard, moisture rising in her eyes.
My body moved on its own. I threw myself into her arms and hugged her tight. Tears streamed down my face.
She slowly raised her hands and held me against her, gently stroking my hair.
"The time we spent with you is already enough repayment for the favor you think we did," she said slowly, her tone motherly and warm.
"No! I'm not leaving you! Never!" I shouted against her shoulder.
"Now... don't say that..." Quinn's voice caught as she swallowed a lump in her own throat.
"If you're with him, you'll grow stronger. You won't need to hide from the Drusillas anymore."
"I don't care about escaping from them! I just want you!" I clutched her harder, my fingers digging into her back.
"Listen here.." Quinn started against the tightness in her throat.
"No! I'm not leaving, no matter what you say!" I shouted.
"And what? Kill us with you when the Drusillas eventually find you?"
A voice, deep and serious, came from behind us. I opened my eyes and looked over Quinn's shoulder.
Commander Tugnier.
I hadn't even sensed him approach.
"H-hey, Tug—" Quinn started, but Commander Tugnier spoke over her.
"I don't remember giving you permission to reject missions that came from me." His eyes locked onto mine, hard and unyielding.
"Lydia... he didn't mean that," Quinn said softly.
"I know," I replied.
And I did know. He was saying all of this to send me off, but he was right. If even the SBV could get their hands on our location, it wouldn't be hard for the Drusillas to keep tabs on Tugnier. And if they knew I was with them... they'd come. They'd come for all of them.
I bit my lower lip. I hugged Commander Quinn tighter one last time... and then let her go.
I inhaled deeply, pulling all my emotions in with the air. I stepped back and gave a salute to Commander Tugnier, tears welling up in my eyes.
"Lydia..." Quinn whispered.
I closed my eyes and shouted, "I'll be on the mission now! I'll be back with progress!"
When I opened my eyes, they widened. Commander Tugnier was already standing before me. He lifted his huge hand and rested it on my head.
He grinned, that usual confident grin of his.
"Get out of here."
Then his grin softened into a gentle smile. "And stay safe out there."
I nodded, feeling a smile creep onto my own face. His smile really was contagious.
I looked at Quinn one last time before leaving. She was silently crying, tears streaming down her face. She rubbed them away quickly when I turned to her.
I saluted one final time.
Then I took off and never looked back.
Because if I did, I wouldn't be able to leave at all.
***********
"She really left..."
Quinn's voice drifted into the empty air, her eyes fixed on the darkness Lydia had disappeared into. Her hands clutched at her chest, tears pooling in her eyes and threatening to spill over.
"Tugnier... she left," Quinn said again, as if saying it aloud would make it feel real.
"Yes." Tugnier's reply was simple, his gaze also locked on the darkness ahead.
"And she won't come back for a long time." He turned to face Quinn, his expression unreadable in the moonlight.
Quinn's tears finally broke free, wobbling down her cheeks in silent streams.
Tugnier walked toward her slowly, deliberately, and pulled her into his arms without a word. His embrace was firm and grounding.
"It's what's best for her," he said softly, his voice rumbling in his chest.
"You made the right decision. As always." His large hand moved to stroke her hair gently, the same way she'd comforted Lydia moments before.
Quinn wept quietly against his chest, her shoulders shaking with each silent sob. She didn't try to hide it anymore. There was no need to be strong right now, not here, not with him.
A cool breeze passed through the compound, rustling the trees and carrying with it the scent of the night. Neither of them moved.
They stood there together, two commanders who'd just sent away someone they loved, letting the wind witness what words could not express.
Eventually, Quinn's breathing slowed. Her tears dried against Tugnier's chest. The exhaustion of the day, of the decision, of everything caught up with her all at once. Her body grew heavy in his arms.
She dozed off right there, still standing, still held.
Tugnier sighed deeply, feeling the weight of her trust in him. He adjusted his grip slightly to support her better.
"By the way..." he started, his voice cutting through the quiet.
Quinn slowly lifted her face to look at him, her eyes half-open and puffy from crying.
"I still get that sixty percent, right?" Tugnier tried to smile, though it came out hesitant.
He was clearly attempting to lighten the mood.
A vein bulged prominently on Quinn's temple.
THWACK!
The sound of her fist connecting with his head echoed through the breeze, sharp and satisfying.
"Get your ass back to bed!" she shouted, her voice hoarse but fierce, all traces of sleepiness gone in an instant.
**********
"Are you okay?"
I watched Sera walk like someone who'd had too much to drink. Her steps were random, uncoordinated, swaying left and right without warning.
I stayed just behind her, Merin still limp on my shoulder like a sack of potatoes, my eyes carefully tracking Sera's movements in case she fell.
But her steps were getting more erratic by the second.
I couldn't blame her. She'd spent the entire day in the training room with Quinn, a final lesson from her tutor. Now she was trying her best just to stay awake, to put one foot in front of the other.
I really felt bad for waking her up and then abruptly making her walk through the forest at night, stumbling through the darkness like this.
"Oh... I'm fine..." Sera said, though her wobbling gait told a completely different story.
Nexar was sleeping too. Before he'd drifted off, he'd written that today was the best time to leave, something about it being a plot point for Lydia and all that stuff.
"Ohh.."
I lunged forward, catching Sera with one arm as she started to fall, still carrying Merin on my other shoulder. My arm wrapped around Sera's slender waist, pulling her back from collapse.
"Careful," I said, steadying her against me.
"Mmm..." she mumbled, already half-asleep in my arm. Her weight began to sink into me, growing heavier as consciousness slipped away from her.
I sighed and threw Merin off my shoulder. She dropped to the ground, rolled across the dirt, hit a tree with a soft thud, and came to a stop in a heap.
I caught Sera properly with both arms now, holding her as her frame melted into mine. She drifted deeper into sleep, her breathing slow and steady against my chest.
She really was trying her best to get stronger, pushing herself to this kind of complete exhaustion.
I glanced around and spotted a clear spot between the trees, good enough to set up camp.
"Sera," I said softly, shaking her gently. My arms were still wrapped around her waist from behind.
She slowly opened her eyes, heavy-lidded and unfocused. She turned her head back to look at me, and I loosened my grip as she shifted her body to face me.
Then she simply leaned forward into me.
Her chest pressed against mine, soft and warm. Her face nestled into my chest as she threw all her weight onto me, surrendering completely to sleep again.
I could feel her breath, slow and even, warming the fabric of my shirt.
"I shouldn't have listened to Nexar..." I muttered under my breath.
Carefully, I adjusted my hold and lifted Sera into my arms properly, one arm under her knees, the other supporting her back. She was lighter than I expected, or maybe I was just getting stronger.
Her head lolled against my shoulder, and a few strands of her hair tickled my neck.
I carried her to the tree I'd spotted and gently placed her against it, making sure her back was supported and her head wouldn't fall awkwardly.
Even in sleep, there was a slight furrow in her brow, like she was still trying to train even in her dreams.
I rolled my shoulders, feeling the stiffness from carrying both of them, and took the heavy luggage off my back. It hit the ground with a satisfying thump.
"Now then... I should get to work," I said to no one in particular.
I picked up my Blood Raven and placed it carefully beside Sera, within easy reach. Just in case.
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