(The early part of this chapter is from the perspective of Caramel Snail, temporarily switching to first-person)

I am always pondering.

When I was young, before I earned the name 'Jiaozi Niu,' I was already thinking about one thing.

Why am I always expected to achieve great things but can never accomplish anything?

The elders would always boast about me, praise me, think of me as a genius. They would pray to nonexistent deities for blessings, hoping I would study hard, change my class, and fulfill their dreams.

To this end, they would give their all, offering me all their love, all their nourishment.

Sometimes it was a box of almond dew, sometimes a pen, sometimes a set of "One Hundred Thousand Whys," and even game consoles and tablets.

Back then, I didn't know that this sort of privileged treatment was called 'hope.'

I once thought this kind of privilege, like that of a crown prince, would continue forever.

But when I attended an unremarkable school and became an unremarkable person, I no longer enjoyed these privileges.

The reason is simple: I crushed their expectations, and those childhood candies and nutritious treats ultimately became wasted investments.

Perhaps it was from then that I became afraid to respond to anyone's passionate expectations. I hid my personality, actively avoided others' attention, ceased interacting with people, and immersed myself in my own world.

Sports became a good way to relieve stress. I chose armored combat from traditional martial arts; only when adrenaline surged during the clash of swords and armor, when sweat and shouts flooded my sensory nerves like molten lava coursing through my veins and spreading through my limbs and bones—could I feel at ease.

Originally, everything should have ended there.

Live, wield the sword, live, wield the sword.

Wield the sword in reality, wield the sword in the game.

Facing powerful opponents, fighting repeatedly, losing, losing, losing, losing, winning, losing, winning, winning, losing—until winning became the main theme, trampling everyone underfoot.

One day, I suddenly found those past privileges returned to me.

By the time I snapped out of it, I had already become the national runner-up.

Love and being loved require credentials.

Those relatives and partners who once distanced themselves now gathered around me again, either seeking my help or hoping to borrow my strength.

I reckon no one can stay rational amidst such cheers.

Everyone is equal, so gaining recognition from others is a difficult task. It must be because you did something meaningful to many people that they would praise, appreciate, and love you.

From that moment, I gradually lost myself as well.

I forgot who supported me all the way to my present status, forgot the one who treated me consistently regardless of my circumstances, I simply wanted to win, wanted more praise and admiration.

Until one day, the tower collapsed.

I watched as Ziluo Star was ravaged by the descending artillery fire, players frolicking under Li Aozi's guidance began an industrialized massacre.

… I realized I was merely an executioner.

No matter how much time passes, I can never forget those who were kind and sincere to me but died because of me.

They welcomed me warmly, and I responded to them with annihilation.

This betrayal, repaying kindness with enmity, is the nightmare of my life.

I began to question my actions, question the righteousness of the game, even question my own existence.

Nonetheless, I still couldn't abandon the game because I couldn't forsake my yearning for fame.

I thirsted for vanity.

Professional players surrounded me, I donned the national flag to compete in events, audiences showered me with rewards and cheers.

Yet amidst all the cheers, I still heard from those supportive fans a faint and piercing voice:

'Tsk, still couldn't win the championship.'

No matter how it is, the privilege returned.

I received love and gradually understood the meaning of loving others.

When I felt I could finally let go of everything, Fate hit me with a heavy blow.

She died.

I watched helplessly as she was crushed, shattered, annihilated by descending darkness, even her real-life existence wasn't spared.

From that moment, I suddenly realized: I had never escaped the shadows of the past.

Now, they have returned.

I loathe Secret, and loathe my powerless self even more.

In every stage of my life, I was valued by others.

Xia Yubing always stood by my side, yet I couldn't respond to her feelings for me.

Li Aozi valued me, he was the first to give me equipment and Arcane Energy, yet I repaid him with betrayal.

The fans supported me in competitions, but I fell in front of Long Yuqiong.

Cumin Powder, we trekked together from Azure Star across the Cosmic, crossed star seas and wars, but I couldn't even hear her confession.

True General also trusted me so much, yet I couldn't even complete the basic task.

Every time, every time, every time every time every time every time every time every time every time!

Why do you all trust me so much every time?!

History has countless times told me I can't achieve anything!

Does someone as incompetent as me have any meaning in continuing to exist?

As I thought this, a cold breath slowly wafted in the air.

'You are meaningless; it's better to offer your mere existence to the Void; at least you can erase your embarrassing history.'

… Yes.

I can't find any reason to oppose.

Without the system, I'm utterly powerless, I'm only a burden to others; actually, I've always been like this, I absolutely can't meet others' expectations.

Everyone has been so gentle, everyone has treated me well, the entire world is so beautiful, why does everyone bless, praise, and help me like this.

I am entirely undeserving of all of this.

Perhaps sensing the intense emotions surging within me, the cold breath extended its hand to me, gently pulling me, the earth cracked, bursting into psychedelic brilliance.

And I, being led by it, walked towards the distant end.

A large hand extended from 'The Gate,' the will of Void whispered to me in my ear:

'It is the executioner of the Void, it will judge your past words, deeds, and history, listen to your confession, and decide your ultimate fate.'

Executioner, huh? That's quite okay.

I am no longer qualified to live as a human.

Those who loved me have been disappointed by me repeatedly, and those I love no longer exist in this world.

Let me be completely erased from here, leaving not a single trace of failure.

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