The Cursed Bamboo Forest was famous across five provinces for three things:

1. Its natural beauty.

2. Its unpredictable spiritual anomalies.

3. The fact that it regularly ate cultivators for breakfast.

Naturally, this made it the perfect place for a peaceful educational outing.

---

Headmaster Yan Luo's voice echoed over the assembled group of twenty disciples—ten from the Azure Sky Sect, ten from the Academy of Elegant Malevolence.

"Remember," he said, "today's goal is unity through shared peril. Do not die unnecessarily. Dying necessarily is fine."

Elder Mu Qing immediately fainted again.

Li Ming, now wearing the honorary sash of "Inter-Sect Expedition Leader" (it read 'Don't Blame Me' in calligraphy), surveyed his mixed team with the calm of a man who already regretted waking up.

"Listen carefully," he said. "Our mission is to subdue the Spirit-Devouring Bamboo Tiger. That means—"

A demonic disciple raised a hand. "Capture or kill?"

"Neither," Li Ming said. "Negotiate if possible. We're on a peace mission."

An Azure Sky disciple frowned. "Negotiate? With a beast that eats qi?"

Li Ming nodded. "Exactly. We share a lot in common."

Yin Qing pinched the bridge of her nose. "You're impossible."

"Efficiently impossible," he corrected.

---

The group entered the forest.

Immediately, the bamboo groves began humming—low, resonant vibrations that made spiritual senses buzz like overcharged talismans.

"Careful," said Yin Qing. "The forest's qi shifts between harmony and hunger."

Li Ming looked around lazily. "Then it's just like an average sect meeting."

A azure sky sect disciple choked. "That's blasphemy!"

An Evil Path disciple nodded solemnly. "He's right though."

---

Half an hour later, the party reached a clearing where spiritual mist drifted like soup.

A faint growl rolled through the air, shaking leaves and egos alike.

The Spirit-Devouring Bamboo Tiger was near.

Its legend said it could absorb the energy of any technique directed at it, growing stronger each time—an apex predator of cultivation itself.

Li Ming, however, was crouched by a patch of grass.

"Li ming," Bai Guo asked, "why are you touching the ground?"

"I'm checking if the soil has snack potential."

Yin Qing hissed. "We are hunting a predator!"

He gestured. "Exactly. Know your environment. Every survival manual says so."

A demonic cultivator whispered, "Does every survival manual include recipe suggestions?"

"Only the good ones," Li Ming replied.

---

Suddenly, a roar split the air.

The Tiger emerged from the mist—taller than trees, body of jade and muscle, eyes glowing like molten gold.

Its stripes pulsed with flowing qi—it looked less like an animal and more like a living cultivation technique.

Half the disciples screamed. The other half tried to look brave and failed.

Li Ming simply stood, dusted his robes, and said, "Handsome."

The beast blinked, confused.

Yin Qing's sword lit with demonic energy. "Plan?"

Li Ming folded his hands behind his back. "Observe. Learn. Then adapt."

"Translation," Bai Guo chirped, "he has no plan!"

---

The Tiger roared again, drawing in the disciples' qi like a vortex. Techniques fizzled midair; talismans withered.

Azure Sky disciples panicked, retreating. Evil Path students cursed and improvised traps with alarming creativity.

Li Ming calmly stepped forward.

"Stop wasting energy," he said, tone mild. "You're feeding it."

Yin Qing shouted over the roar, "Then what do we do?"

"Starve it."

She blinked. "Excuse me?"

He sat cross-legged midair. "Withdraw your qi. Go still. Let it drain nothing."

The disciples stared in disbelief.

A demonic student whispered, "That's not a battle tactic—that's meditation!"

Li Ming smiled faintly. "Correct. Enlightenment always confuses predators."

---

Within moments, his presence shifted—the dual lotus mark faintly glowing.

Around him, the air grew tranquil, like the world itself was taking a nap.

The Tiger hesitated, snarling uncertainly.

It reached for his qi… and found only stillness.

Its growl faltered.

"See?" Li Ming said, eyes half-lidded. "Hunger has no power over those who aren't offering anything."

Yin Qing gaped. "You're defeating it with apathy?"

Bai Guo puffed his feathers proudly. "Dao of Laziness, stage two!"

The Tiger recoiled, confused, roaring more out of existential frustration than fury.

Li Ming opened one eye. "Good. It's questioning life choices. That's step one toward enlightenment."

---

But before the comedy could peak, one Azure Sky disciple panicked and launched a purification strike.

The beam hit the Tiger squarely.

The beast shrieked—absorbing the energy instantly—and its size doubled.

Everyone screamed.

Even the forest sighed.

Li Ming facepalmed. "And that's why we can't have righteous things."

Yin Qing groaned. "Now what?"

"Now," he said calmly, rising to his feet, "we apply phase two of the plan."

"Which is?"

He smiled. "Team-building."

---

The forest was chaos.

The Spirit-Devouring Bamboo Tiger had doubled in size, roared loud enough to make mountains reconsider their career choices, and was currently inhaling everyone's spiritual energy like it was bubble tea.

Disciples ran, talismans flew, someone fainted dramatically, and the sky itself was flashing between "divine punishment" and "comedic timing."

And in the middle of it all—

Li Ming was stretching.

"Alright," he said calmly, "new plan."

"Your last plan made it evolve!" Yin Qing snapped, her demonic blade crackling.

He shrugged. "I didn't do that."

"Your colleague did!"

"Touchè," he replied. "Now, gather everyone. We're doing synchronized cultivation."

Yin Qing blinked. "Synchronized—what?"

"Team-building meditation," he said, as if it were obvious. "Step one: nobody panic."

Someone screamed in the background.

"Step one failed," Bai Guo noted.

---

A massive claw slammed down near them, shaking the earth.

Li Ming raised one finger; a ripple of tranquil qi spread, cushioning the shockwave.

"See?" he said. "Even violence respects composure."

The Tiger roared again, eyes blazing, lunging toward him.

Instead of dodging, Li Ming… sat down.

The disciples gasped.

Yin Qing hissed, "You're meditating in front of a beast that eats qi?!"

"Yes," he said serenely. "Because I finally understand—this creature isn't hungry for energy."

"What else would it be hungry for? Validation?"

Li Ming nodded. "Exactly."

She froze. "You can't be serious."

"I'm always serious when I'm not awake," he murmured.

---

The Tiger halted mid-lunge.

Its golden eyes flickered uncertainly, like it had just been psychoanalyzed.

Li Ming gestured to the others.

"Sit. Breathe. Synchronize your flow. We share our qi through harmony, not power."

An Azure Sky disciple whispered, "But it'll devour us—"

"Only if you struggle," Li Ming said. "Relax your qi. Let it feel accepted."

The Evil Path students looked at each other, then shrugged.

"We've done weirder."

One by one, the mixed group sat down in a rough circle.

Qi flared faintly between them—azure blue and shadowy black twining together.

Li Ming's presence anchored it, balancing the two forces like an indifferent god of sleep therapy.

---

The forest's energy shifted.

The Tiger hesitated again.

It stepped closer, sniffing the circle.

The air trembled with restrained killing intent—but then softened.

It crouched low, head tilted, clearly confused.

"Good," Li Ming murmured. "It's entering emotional reflection phase."

Yin Qing glared. "That's not a real thing."

"It is now," he said.

The Tiger growled softly—less rage, more… uncertainty.

Li Ming slowly extended his hand, palm open.

"I know the hunger," he said quietly. "Endless craving for more qi, more progress, more validation. That's what every cultivator suffers."

The beast's golden eyes flickered.

"I tried chasing that too once," Li Ming continued. "But then I discovered… naps exist."

The disciples twitched.

Yin Qing muttered, "Is this… is he actually preaching self-care to a spiritual predator?"

"Yes," Bai Guo said proudly. "Dao of Nap transcends species!"

---

Suddenly, the Tiger exhaled—an enormous gust that blew apart the mist.

Its body began to glow, stripes pulsing slower, calmer.

The forest quieted.

The qi whirlwinds stilled.

And then—the massive beast bowed.

Li Ming blinked.

"Oh. It worked."

The disciples stared in stunned silence.

One whispered, "Did… did Senior Brother just tame a Spirit Beast through emotional counseling?"

Another replied, "He's either a genius or a symptom."

---

The Tiger's eyes softened, its aura folding inward like a dying storm.

Then, from its chest, a single crystal of condensed energy floated out—pulsing with yin-yang resonance.

It hovered before Li Ming.

A gift.

Yin Qing's jaw dropped. "That's a Spirit Core. You could refine that for decades' worth of progress!"

Li Ming accepted it calmly.

"Progress is good," he said, pocketing it, "but snacks are better."

Bai Guo whispered, "He's going to use it as a paperweight, isn't he?"

Yin Qing groaned. "Definitely."

---

As the Tiger turned to vanish back into the forest, the disciples broke into cheers and disbelief.

"Alliance success!" "He tamed it without fighting!" "He counseled it through existential despair!"

Li Ming stood, dusted his robes, and nodded modestly.

"See? True cultivation is about understanding."

Yin Qing crossed her arms. "And naps."

He smiled faintly. "Understanding through naps."

---

By the time they returned to the Academy, the report had already spread:

> "Li Ming of Azure Sky successfully pacified a Spirit-Devouring Beast through guided meditation, emotional validation, and mild sarcasm."

Headmaster Yan Luo read the report twice, then said, "I don't know if I should promote him or exile him."

The faculty voted for both.

To be continued...

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