Today's Earth date: June 13, 1992

Still no Horcus. The big wigs in Bata are starting to say we should consider moving on without him for the sake of saving the world and all that.

A few parties have finished the quest with three Heroes, but none of us are convinced that's a smart move for our party. If Horcus doesn't return though, we'll eventually have to decide between our safety and the safety of everyone in this world.

Which is bullshit. I should be sitting in a college class right now, learning about sociology or whatever. Instead, the fate of the world rests on my shoulders.

-The Journal of Laszlo the Paladin

Gitna didn't have a library whatsoever, so Wayne spoke to a few guards and then bothered several people at a tavern. From what he could gather, the Gentle Forest was remarkably safe. Travelers saw three to four attacks per year on that stretch of road while the route between Vientuls and Cuan saw upwards of fifty.

The dwarven ruins Barry wanted to see also sounded benign. The way Gitna locals described it, Wayne pictured the above-ground section of Julian's tomb, except these ruins had five stone structures instead of just the one. The general belief was that it used to be a dwarven village, and only the stone structures survived the ravages of time.

But this was a young adult, they were talking about. Wayne needed to be as certain as possible.

[chat]

W: Anyone go through the Gentle Forest or know about the ruins in it?

A: i have F: I have as well

W: Is it safe?

A: for you? yeah.

W: Let's say, hypothetically, I was giving a rich shit and his four bodyguards an escorted adventure.

H: sounds like it sucks

M: ^

A: we saw giant rats every time when my unit went through, but they never even attacked us. don't know about the ruins tho.

F: The ruins are stone shells. There's nothing notable there, really. I mean, they're pretty, but there isn't a dungeon or anything. At least, one hasn't been discovered. I don't like your odds of it being a generic walk in the woods.

H: ^

W: My biggest concern is a spawner.

A: why not just decline?

W: I get 2 Pages of Power.

F: It'll probably be fine. If you get a kid killed, you can pop over to the Free Continent and live out your life.

H: ^

W: Anyone want to come?

M: Is that a casual invite or is it part of our job?

W: Casual.

M: no thanks

A: ^

H: ^

F: I too decline.

[/chat]

The next day, two days after Wayne's arrival in Gitna, he met Barry and four serious-looking bodyguards. Each of them carried a sword, and two of them had quivers and bows as well. Compared to some of the town guards Wayne had seen in town, these men actually looked capable of defending themselves. They had the look that would make them great casting choices for a biker bar television scene on Earth.

There were six horses waiting for them at the western gate.

"If you want, we can ride Outlawson," Wayne told Barry. "Your men would still need their horses, but you and I would be fine."

"Let's do that."

So Wayne summoned Outlawson, and the horses lost their minds, which he should have expected. After an hour of gentle coaxing and letting the horses see that Outlawson would not, in fact, eat them, the group set out for the Gentle Forest.

From what information Wayne was able to gather, they could do the whole run in three days.

The first day would get them pretty deep into the Gentle Forest and near to the ruins. Day two, they would explore the ruins, which didn't sound like it would take more than an hour or so for how small it was, and they would be home on day three, probably traveling for part of the afternoon on day two to get a headstart.

Wayne thought some music would be a good way to pass the time.

Random.

Song: Hold On (Forester Remix)

Artist: Kygo, Emmit Fenn

Album: KYGO (The Remixes)

Genre: Tropical House

The song began with a soft electronic beat that layered in other house-style sounds while keeping a sleepy, atmospheric tone. Slowly, the song grew in intensity while keeping that initial vibe of freeflowing relaxation.

Wayne almost cried. He wasn't familiar with Kygo the artist or the genre of tropical house, but it was squarely from his era. This was modern music. The sounds and style of house music didn't exist in this world, making this song feel more rare and more valuable than any other Earth artifact he had seen.

A Page of Power held meaning for him, but he got to keep the pages he collected. Wayne might need another ten years of pressing Random to get a piece of music that felt like something he would have listened to in his previous life, gaming late or working late.

"This music sucks," Barry said.

"Shut up," Wayne replied. "We have to let it finish. If we talk too much, the Diary of the Gods will make us listen to it again."

Wayne would not let Barry ruin this.

And for once, Barry didn't do the most annoying thing possible. He actually quieted, leaving Wayne to close his eyes and savor the experience.

The only other time Barry spoke was to demand something from one of the bodyguards, like water or a snack. He didn't speak much to Wayne until they entered the Gentle Forest.

Taken from Royal Road, this narrative should be reported if found on Amazon.

The trees were old and had lush green leaves. Wildflowers were scattered throughout the forest, even beneath the canopy, adding flecks of whites and blues and yellows to the landscape. Birds sang. Squirrels paused on branches to watch them pass. There were even a few fluffy rabbits.

The Gentle Forest had all the charm of the animated Snow White, prior to any plot developments regarding evil characters and their magic. If a flock of sparrows descended to wrap Wayne in a blanket, he wouldn't have been surprised.

The calm didn't put Wayne at complete ease, however. Barry was with him, so he checked his HUD map frequently.

Good thing, too.

"We've got incoming," Wayne said. "Six of them, pincer attack."

Three dots closed on their position from either side of the road.

"Protect Barry," Wayne told the bodyguards. "I'll yell if you should run."

Wayne summoned Linebacker bot and Running bot, commanding them to run a play he dubbed "escort mission." In short, the robots were tasked with keeping enemies from getting to Barry.

The Zero Hero stood and jumped off of Outlawson, catching himself with a Blitz before he hit the ground. Using a dash ability with so many trees around seemed risky, but Wayne felt completely confident in his perception and his reflexes. The more levels he gained, the more control he seemed to have over himself and his reactions.

So he zoomed toward one set of three dots.

Three goblins hustled across the forest floor, carrying wooden spears.

Missile.

Missile.

Missile.

Three headless goblin corpses slopped to the ground.

And, on second thought, zigging and zagging through the forest was a pain. Wayne Blitzed upward to get above the treeline and then dropped on top of the remaining three enemies. They were still twenty yards from Barry and the bodyguards, so Wayne had plenty of time to snipe them with Missile.

That was it. Wayne hadn't even drawn his sword. He stepped out of the brush and gave the all-clear.

Barry seemed dubious. "I didn't see anything."

"Trees will do that."

"Riiight. You killed a bunch of monsters that no one else could see. Convenient."

Wayne took a long, deep breath. Barry was too far under his skin, and whether it was his whiny tone or his rich-shit attitude, Wayne found himself being less and less resilient to the young adult's lip.

"You're right," Wayne said. "This is supposed to be an adventure. We'll make it a proper adventure."

Dipping back into the brush, Wayne remerged a moment later dragging a headless goblin corpse.

Barry went white. "Okay. I believe you."

"Good, but since this is a proper adventure, we're bringing this with us," Wayne said, hoisting himself onto Outlawson with one hand.

He slapped the body between him and Barry. The young adult nearly fell backward off of Outlawson, but Wayne caught him and pulled him back up.

"I said I believe you," Barry repeated. A swirling shade of green had joined the white. "We can get rid of that."

"Afraid not," Wayne said. "It's important monsters know you're not to be trifled with, so we will carry this to show 'em how dangerous we are."

Barry sat stone stiff, gritting his teeth as the greasy, bloody goblin body rubbed against his hip and thigh.

"I get it, okay? You're not a pussy."

"You know, you should probably swap out that vocabulary for something else. Some of the toughest people I've met in this world have been women. Geez, if you called Margo a pussy?" Wayne whistled. "Let's just say she's really good with a dagger."

"It doesn't mean women are weak."

"If it doesn't, it implies it by comparison. The way I understand it, you can't use genitals as an insult unless you own that set of genitals. So like, call me a dick. Fair game."

"Women can't call someone a dick?"

"They totally can, actually. Listen, the fine print is complicated, but that's how it works. You know, we do have time. I could give you a primer on feminism and how language, like pussy, works against women being taken seriously in male-dominated arenas."

Barry retched but managed to contain himself. "Okay. I got it. I'll stop. Please. Get rid of it."

"You're sure that's what you want?"

"Yes. Completely."

Wayne grabbed the goblin's wrist and chucked it off the side of the road.

"Umm…" Barry stammered. "How high is your strength stat?"

"42."

"What'd you say?"

"42."

Barry's eyes went wide. He looked straight ahead, his body stiff.

"You thought I was a pushover, huh?"

"...Yes," Barry squeaked.

"There's a poet in my world by the name of Taylor Mali, and he has a line that I'll never forget. He says, 'Honesty is like ass kicking. If you ask for it, then I have to give it to you.' Do you get what that means?"

"Uh huh."

"Good. You've treated me pretty poorly, but if there's a point where I beat up a young adult, you haven't crossed it yet. If you were ball-busting someone else, though? If you keep asking long enough, eventually you'll get the answer, so it's best to make not being a dick your default setting."

Barry didn't talk much when they made camp. His bodyguards prepared his tent and his meals, and as soon as the young adult finished eating, he disappeared behind his tent flap.

The bodyguards gave Wayne the eyebrow raise that universally meant, "That's some shit, huh?"

They knew better than anyone what being around Barry was like, and that expression was as much commentary as they could risk and still keep their jobs. Wayne was thankful not to be them.

When it was Wayne's turn to sleep, one of the guards whistled to announce he spotted enemies approaching camp. They were more goblins, and they got close enough that one of the bodyguards got his sword bloody. There was no significant danger to anyone, least of all Barry, but Wayne could clearly see the young adult's tent rippling as the person inside shook in their bedroll.

Barry was unpleasant, but he was still only thirteen, Wayne told himself.

"Hey Barry. I don't know if you're up, but if you are, we're all clear out here. I have a scouting ability that lets me know if enemies are nearby. We're good."

Barry didn't reply, but the tent stopped shaking soon after.

They reached the dwarven ruins before noon the next day. Fergus' comparison to Julian's tomb was apt. Though these structures were in terrible shape–only one had all four walls and a roof still intact–they all shared the Grecian temple style of grand pillars and smooth stone.

Had Wayne come here as a thirteen year old, he would have loved it. The ruins wrapped in vines with the backdrop of a lush forest was fitting for an adventure. Knowing that the first dwarves once lived here, allegedly, made the world seem so much older and so much more mysterious. All this history and more had happened before his lifetime that he'd never truly know or understand.

That was magical to a young adult. Hell, Wayne still thought it was magical, even if the history of the first dwarves was fiction.

"I'm going to find a perch in the middle and keep watch," Wayne said to the bodyguards. "Are you guys good to watch Barry?"

They nodded.

"I don't need watched," Barry grumbled.

Wayne didn't bother arguing. He found a reasonably sturdy wall that was roughly in the center of the ruins and sat down, watching his Radar for red dots while the blue dots milled about the area.

Passing the time was easy enough. He re-read the descriptions from his newest Pages of Power, typed into his HUD notes for convenience, and tried to imagine what the unlocks might lead to. His curiosity brought him back to two options again and again: the modem and any of the fake games in the Target ad.

Having only recently bumped up a level from grinding around Maliit, Wayne was very aware that he had a long way to go until his next level, especially if he had to get there grinding bullshit mobs like goblins and giant rats. He was about to ping Fergus to see if he wanted to talk about the Pages of Power. Wayne had already shared the descriptions with his best friend, and though Fergus had never played a video game, he was sharp enough to pick up on little choices in phrasing and vocabulary that Wayne sometimes overlooked.

But Wayne heard a shrill whistle. It was one of the bodyguards.

Hmm. There was nothing on the HUD. Hopefully Barry didn't tip a building onto himself or something similarly stupid.

Even if there weren't visible reds, Wayne hustled to their location, needing only three Blitzes to do so.

Wayne landed outside of the lone intact structure. Four very concerned guards pointed into the entrance. Their faces betrayed both fear and confusion. Something that they didn't understand had scared them, and Barry was already inside.

As soon as Wayne approached the doorway and could see some of the interior, his heart clenched.

"Barry! Get the fuck out of there!"

The interior of the structure was once a mostly empty room with dust, dirt, and maybe a rats nest or two. But that's not what Wayne saw now.

Nearly the entirety of the inside was coated in flickering glitch artifacts. Kenny described them as "puddles" when they traversed the Dead Zone together, but this was different. Wayne had never seen a glitched area this large. It covered all of the ceiling, almost all of the three walls, and most of the floor.

And Barry squatted at the edge of it like he was looking at minnows in a pond.

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