94 Blush
     "F-fat fill- I don't think that's what you should be worried about right now," Antonin stuttered.


    Regan cocked her head in confusion, "Then what should I be worried about?"


    "Um¡­ how about the fact that YOU'RE STANDING IN FRONT OF A MAN HALF NAKED! WHAT HAPPENED TO DIGNITY??" Antonin scolded, his blush growing stronger by the second.


    "Dignity?" Regan thought to herself and remembered the words Vixen told her, "it's not like you'd do something to me anyway so why should I be worried?"


    "What are yo-" Antonin flinched, feeling the coldness from her words and the emptiness it held. 'That wasn't a joke was it?' he thought to himself, 'what type of girl-'


    "You can stay like that until I'm done if you're that worried," Regan muttered.


    "Hmm, I will," Antonin nodded immediately, keeping his head firmly turned away from Regan. "Tell me when you're done."


    "Haha¡­ok, I will," Regan chuckled.


    They sat in silence for a few moments, one that Regan treasured. It gave her time to think.


    'What do I do now?' Regan thought to herself and she picked up the shirt from the cart and stared at its color. ' should I even do anything?'


    She slipped the shirt over her head. 'I tried my best. I put away my thoughts, stopped calling myself pathetic, thought about something more positive, and tried to swim instead of drowning. But yet¡­ because of one move, it's all brought crumbling down. All my efforts were wasted, and by the person whose words made me want to change.'


    She pulled down the shirt and cringed at the way it hugged her body. It felt tight when she stood still, strangling her and when she moved, too free; like it could fall off her body at any moment.


    It was just one day but her emotions had been thrown off their usual steam. She didn't even feel like talking, meanwhile Antonin was exactly the type of person she would have gotten along with. She could have talked for hours with him on topics they didn't even know, getting off-track, back on track, and then back off-track. He was her ideal closest friend and yet she felt like throwing him down a 10-story building. Even his chittering that she would have normally engaged in felt like scratching on a chalkboard. Unpleasant and annoying.


    'All for what?' Regan thought to herself. She was already discombobulated before but now she felt like her personality was switched with another's and the silence in her head was threatening. She wasn't able to believe it. 'After all the wor- haha¡­ who am I kidding,' Regan chuckled in her mind, 'I didn't even do anything.'


    She brushed down her shirt uncomfortably and turned back to Antonin's back. 'All I did was push away my thoughts for a few minutes and decide to do something positive. I didn't even act it out¡­ I didn't even get the chance to stop calling herself pathetic or learn to swim. Plus here I stand, blaming someone who's just trying to do their job while the one who really offended me was somewhere in the building, probably having the time of his life. Why didn't I get the chance to change? WHY DIDN'T I GET THE CHANCE TO FINALLY LEARN TO SMILE AT MY REFLECTION?! Why¡­ why do I never change?'


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